Dating

 

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What is Dating? In the world today, dating is defined as two people who like each other and spend a lot of time together. This does not mean that they go on dates but that they spend a lot of time hanging out together. Dating is a serious commitment between two people. They have committed to only going on dates with one another.

Throughout this week I have learned a lot about healthy dating. I am very excited about sharing this information with all of you! I hope all of you learn something that you want to apply to your own life. Creating a healthy marriage starts with how you date.

First off, what is a date? A date is an event where two people do some kind of activity and get to know each other better. A good way to determine if something is a date is by putting it through the three p's test. That is, has the event been planned, paid for, and are you paired off? If the activity meets all three of these criteria, then it qualifies as a date.

It is also important to remember that a first date is just a first date. It is not a promise of future commitment. All you have promised is a few hours of commitment. There is no need to stress about the future. Just enjoy the time on the date.

There are four different levels in the traditional dating period. These are, one dating, two courting, three engagement, and four marriage. So far, we have only talked about dating. This is the period of time when you are going on dates with multiple different people and haven't committed to anyone yet. In modern terms, this would be more like "hanging out".

Courtship is the period where you have been singled off with someone and have chosen to only date them. During this period, it is important to continue to go on dates and get to know each other better. Just because you are committed to each other doesn't mean you should stop going on dates. It is actually really significant to still go on dates. The activities you do on dates allow you to get to know each other better.

There is a formula called the "Know Quo". This is that TIME + TALK + TOGETHERNESS = KNOW QUO. The more time you spend with someone, the better you will get to know them. Talking allows you to learn things about them and togetherness is doing activities together. These three things are all things that allow us to better understand who people are and why they are the way they are. In this theory, it is believed that you have to know someone for a minimum of three months to truly know them. When you are talking to get to know someone, there needs to be deep conversations about your thoughts and feelings. Both of you should be talking about these things, not just one or the other.

The third level is engagement. This means that you have promised to plan a marriage with someone. Notice how I used the word marriage instead of wedding. You are not just planning a party, you are determining what your marriage is going to look like. You have essentially signed a contract that you will marry this person. At this stage, you should still be going on dates and getting to know each other. Just because you are engaged does not mean you know everything about them and can give up. This relationship you are in is something you will have to constantly work at.

The fourth level is marriage. At this level, you have combined lives and now are working to build a life together. You should still be going on dates and still be getting to know each other. A successful marriage is not built off of common likes and dislikes but rather similar values and beliefs. A good relationship/marriage is two people who are willing to accommodate and adjust to one another.

What sparked your interest when reading this, and how will you apply it to your relationships?

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