Talk to Your Kids

 Are you going to have the hard conversations with your kids? If you don't then someone else will. It is more than likely that someone else will be a peer who will teach them false information.

Pornography is something that plagues our generation. We live in a time when pornography is a click of a button away. You no longer have to seek it out. It can be found easily in the feed of your social media or by accidently clicking the wrong button. The question is no longer have you ever viewed pornography, but when was the last time you saw pornography?

Addictions to pornography harm marriages, families, and the human brain. An addiction to pornography literally changes the wiring in your brain. It changes how you view people and your relationships with them. Now imagine a six, nine, or twelve-year-old coming across pornography. Have they been taught what it is? Do they know how to handle the situation? If not, this encounter could have devastating effects on their future. If a child that young comes across pornography and doesn't know that it is bad and then continues to find it and view it, the effects on their brain will be detrimental. On the other hand, if a child that young has been taught what pornography is and that it is bad, then they will have the tools they need to combat the situation when it arises.

So, when should you, as a parent, have these conversations? I believe you should have these conversations very early on in your child's life. If you talk about what pornography is with your children early and often, then it will become a normal topic. This will help kids to feel comfortable telling you when they have seen it. This will build trust and understanding. If you have conversations frequently about what to do when you see pornography, then you will give your children the tools they need to help protect themselves from harm.

What do you teach your children when talking about pornography? I feel that it is important to teach your children about their own bodies first. Explain to them how God gave them these bodies as a gift, and he wants them to respect them and take care of them. Then talk about things that could harm our bodies, like sharks, or cigarettes, or other things we are taught to avoid. Teaching them this will help them better understand why we avoid bad things. You can then go on to talk about how there are things that can harm our minds just like there are things that can harm our bodies. This is when you bring up pornography and explain what it is. At this point, you can decide, depending on the age of the children, what you are going to describe pornography as. For young kids, the most essential thing for them to understand is that it is bad pictures. For older children, it is important that they know that it can be words or anything that is sexual in an inappropriate way. After explaining what it is, you can talk about how it is bad for your mind and how it offends the Holy Ghost when we view it. You can explain that this form of media is making fun of the gift God gave us. Then you can give your kids three simple steps to use when they see pornography. These steps are: 1. Call it what it is. 2. Turn off the device. 3. Tell a trusted adult. Teaching your children these steps gives them the tools they need to combat the evil in this world. That is our duty as parents; to teach our children well, so they can resist temptation.

While pornography is easier to access, this does not mean children are doomed. Yes, they may be exposed to it throughout their lives. But I have full confidence that as we teach them right from wrong, they will succeed. One of the most important parts of this whole conversation is trust and transparency. Our kids need to trust us and see us be transparent, so they know that we will not judge them if they come across pornography or even if they have been looking at it. If kids feel loved and trusted, then they will have the confidence to come to us as parents. My goal is to create a home where my kids know that, no matter what, they can come to me. I want them to know that I love them no matter what and I will help them overcome their challenges and trials.

How are you going to talk with your kids, so they feel loved and valued?